Raymond vs. Denise II

And now you ask, "What the hell is...?"

Last year, my older sister's wacky friends, Ray and Denise, held a birthday competition where they each performed a series of tasks/stunts and earned points based on their completion and the quality of completion. For example, points were awarded to whoever threw up the most after going on a few rides at Wonderland. Points were given out for whoever could get into a stranger's photos. And so forth.

Think of it as The Amazing Race... only stupid.

Denise was last year's champion. Now Ray plans to topple the Empress of Everything and claim the Throne of Thrills and the Footrest of Follies for himself.

But this year, it'll be more difficult. The two titans will go head to head and race around the city to various destinations - i.e. their friends' houses - where they will perform gruelling tasks the likes of which you've never seen.

Stayed tuned for it folks - and god, I wish I were joking - it's THE APPALLING RACE.

And you'll get all your RvD2: THE APPALLING RACE coverage here, only on OF NO IMPORT.

And now a message, paid for by the Associates of Raymond Chow.
(I shit you not, this is what I got in my email. Why are my sister's friends so much more interesting than mine? No, not you John. Nor Teri, Cindy, Yee Lee, Susan, Janny, Cristina, Karen. And whoever else is reading this. Bah, who am I kidding!? You'd never do this, would you?)

(Dark ominous music.)

Narrator:
"Denise Ing claims to be a proud 'Canadian'.  Why then does she claim to be a proud
Chinese and a proud Catholic?  Which statement is true?  Is any of it true?
Can you trust an RvD winner who flip-flops her demographics to please any special
interest group that comes along?"

Narrator:
"Denise Ing claims to support education and healthcare.  Why then are school
teachers on the verge of a strike, and hospital emergency rooms pushed to
capacity?  Since Denise Ing won RvD1, your healthcare and education have not
gotten better.  They have gotten WORSE."

Narrator:
"Denise Ing claims to be a champion of the little guy.  Why then does she
still maintain economic ties with her family's Dutch banking conglomerate:
'ING Direct'?  A company that has admitting to doing business with the
Nazi's during World War 2?"

(Happy music begins.)

Raymond Chow:
"On March 27th, we have the opportunity to speak our voice.  Let Denise Ing
know that one year of Denise Ing as RvD champion is one year too many.  My
name is Raymond Chow, and I approved this message."