Boss character

Those of you who know me have heard me rant on about my boss. It's not that I don't like him... *ahem*... in case he ever gets a hold of this blog...

Anyhoo, he has this tendency to send employees - myself especially - off on wild hunts for things I cannot fathom he'd have a use for.

Here's a short list of things he's asked for from me over the 2 years I've been there, in no particular order. I've put a * next to all the ones I've managed to acquire for him thus far:
- Pilgrim hats*
- A fridge door (just the door)
- Interesting washroom door signs, like cowboy and cowgirl
- A crane (to which I had to clarifyhis meaning. Did he want the bird, a giant machine, a toy, or the carnival crane like the one in Toy Story with the claw and the aliens. The answer is the latter.)
- Mirrors; a full-length one for him*, and smaller desk mirrors
- A jewellery carousel
- Bulgari hair conditioner from France*
- Tamogotchi*
- A take-a-number system*
- An antique chalkboard
- Camping plates (must be plastic, dishwashable, microwaveable, and preferably green)*
- "Cool, weird, wacky" signs for the office
- Christmas lights (he's Jewish...)*
- A dozen butter tarts and a dozen chocolate bars (for his wife on Valentines' Day)*
- A mini iPod (he gave up his 20GB iPod for it... talk about BetaMaxing yourself)*

... the list goes on. It goes on for so long, that I've dedicated two files in my drawers to his requests: requests, and bat-shit crazy requests.

See, I've learned something very important from working with him, or any other crazy boss, and I pass it along to you now:

When you're asked to do something, don't do it. Write it down, and wait until you're asked twice or three times more. Guage the urgency of the request. Only when the words "I need it now now now now now" come into play should you act on an insane request. Especially if it's for a wild goose or holy grail.

And in case you're reading this, boss: my mandate is to be fired in the most spectacular way possible. As in, out of a cannon. Hee hee!