Birthday Girl!

I don't usually do this, but in an effort to be more pragmatic, I'm announcing my birthday and my birthday wish list this year.

I'll be 26 this Aug. 24, but I don't feel a day over 9.

What do I want for my birthday? Hmm. It's actually getting tougher the older I get, especially now that I have such limited space in which to keep my crap.

As many of you know, I have a particular dislike for the default gifts that people give out when they don't know what to get someone. You know, candles, soap, bath products, pot pourri, smelly room thingies.

My preference is always for a $5 gift certificate over a $20 picture frame. Sure, it's a nice picture frame, but I have nowhere to put one. Plus I no longer own a working film camera with which to take pictures. I haven't caved in to buying my own digital camera because I'm not sure I'll ever develop anything. Oh sure, I can say I will, but trust me, I won't.

(Mind you, I will probably look the same now as I do 30 years from now, so if I ever get kidnapped and the RCMP needs recent photos of me, just grab my high school photos. I'm as fat as I was back then and dress just as poorly.)

There are a few little things I am hoping for this year so jot these down if you plan on getting me anything:

A lawn chair - I'm going to ask my parents for this one. I'd love something I can set up in the newly-finished backyard patio with cushions to read on and sunbathe.

Big & Green: Sustainable Architecture of the 21st Century by Dave Gissen - a great book I saw at the Massive Change exhibit, but damn expensive.

The Miles Naismith Vorkosigan series by Lois McMaster Bujold - I read Warrior's Apprentice and it was realy good, but I never got around to the others. They're out of print for the most part and won't be in stores, so online's your only hope.

A really, really cheap Palm - I saw them being sold at the CNE last year for $30! The only reason I want one is so I can download the above mentioned out-of-print books, which can be purchased as e-books for your PDA. I can't bother with a fancy, new, expensive one because, like my crappy-ass iron horse of a bike, I don't want it to get stolen. In fact, I'll probably end up buying myself one when I go this year. You should get one too - you never know what you might do with it. Like take over the world. Wait, did I say that out loud?

Gift certificates - Let's be practical here. My new thing is to give my dearest friends and family cash, or gift certificates to something I know they can use. In my instance, I'll accept $5 gift cards to just about anything. Shoppers Drug Mart, Future Shop, Indigo Books, Blockbuster, the movies, Le Chateau, Reitman's, Jacob, Smart Set, EB Games, HMV - whatever. Because the representation of effort and cash to trade for goods given in compliance with my wishes means more than a ceramic duck* ever will.

John's been wondering what he can get for me, because he traditionally treats me to a single day for my birthday and our anniversary (it'll be our fifth together this year!) combined. I told him all I really want is for him to plan a day out with me, but he really, REALLY hates doing that. I think all men do. Fine. Because I love him so much, I'll make it easy: TAKE ME SHOPPING. And I don't mean to the mall. I like looking at shiny objects. And comic books. And video games. And books. And weird shit. No, I don't know where all that may be, that's why I can't come up with this stuff. And I don't have to buy anything either - I just like to look.

Hmm, now that I read over my list, you can probably just skip everything I listed and get me gift certificates. Not that you NEED to or anything, but there are always a few people out there who see birthdays as an opportunity to regift that ugly ceramic duck*. Do me a favour and show up at my party empty-handed. I'll appreciate it much more than crap I'll have to keep for "sentimental" reasons.




*I did, indeed, get a ceramic duck for my birthday once. Why god, why?*