F*cking Xmas...

I must be getting old. I'm really starting to dislike this "holiday season" thing. It's been reduced to this month-long torture of visiting the mall weekly to purchase over-priced trinkets no one ever needs, gifting them with the pretense that you care about the person receiving them.

Sure, I like shopping as much as the next girl. But not when there are 50 billion other people jostling you in line and in the malls.

And what's with stressed out, frustrated people at the cashier lines? Give the seasonal retail workers a f*ucking break, for Christ's sake, it's the holidays! Why are you getting mad at other people because you didn't have to foresight to buy all your shit throughout the year, and now are reduced to paying full price for a sweater granma will only wear once?

Where's the goodwill and cheer? Where's the spirit of generosity? Yeah, lots of people write cheques to their favourite charity around this time of year, and that's cool, and the homeless might get an extra buck or two and the visit by the sandwich and mitten distributors. But during the rest of the year, the blood clinics are dry, the food banks are empty, and the charity coffers are hollow and dusty.

So here's what I propose: let's make an ENTIRE YEAR a holiday season and eschew December for 12 years. It'll be revolutionary! In a single year, the economy will flourish as people buy up crap they'll never use to give away. When it finally comes to a head, we will develop a re-gift economy, where we keep trading bath sets, baskets of jams, and pajamas until we revert to the barter system. The homeless will earn enough to find a means out of their homelessness. Charities will receive enough to solve whatever cause their championing. And then, we'll all be at each other's throats until only the strongest shoppers are left to victoriously stand on the heap of human bodies, holding up the last Furby doll; surely Darwinism at work.

Then we'll have 12 years of peace. And it will be good.

Okay, rant over. Insane beer-fueled Vicki has left. Marketing Vicki back, but she's beer sleepy.

I had a frustrating day finishing up the last of my Xmas shopping, and let me tell ya, the week before Dec. 25th, not a great time to be anywhere that sells anything.

I cleverly avoided the mall and opted to shop in local stores and small businesses instead. Good thing, too: I went to an awesome little trinket store on Yonge just north of Dundas on the east side near HMV called H2T (Head to Toe) and they had these beautiful gold-dipped enamel orchids from Thailand. Very unique. They're actually real orchids that have been specially glazed and preserved and edged in 24K gold. Everyone, go to this store and buy something! The two ladies working the shop are sisters, 2 of 9 siblings from the Phillippines. What a nice couple of ladies.

Okay, that was my consumer pimp for the week for the night.