Obligatory What Happened in Vegas Post

Three nights and four days in Sin City and I only lost a net of $1. I think. I'm never sure about the math, so someone should help me out with this:

I lost $2 at the Bellagio slot machines.
I spent $1 at the airport casino slot machine and won a cash out of $2.05.
Does this mean I actually won 5 cents in total? I don't know how to count the dollar I spent to win the extra $1.05.

Anyhow, math nerdom aside....

Vegas is fun. A truly larger-than-life experience with resort/hotel/casinos and attractions to match. You just can't grasp it until you're standing on the strip, staring up at the blaring lights, or watching the famous Bellagio fountains. Really, the YouTube videos just don't do it justice, especially considering those jets of water can go 250 ft. up into the air.




That said, little I can say can be perfectly captured with words alone.

The most fascinating part about Vegas I discovered was that the streets were paved with boobies. People hand out flyers and coupons everywhere for "discreet" services from women who, according to the stacks of graphic business cards I collected for John, will provide "Totally Nude Full Service." I should have called to ask if any of these girls would fry bacon totally nude. That would totally be worth the $35 special.

If you're not a gambler, and you have no plans to kill and bury a hooker out in the desert, the hotels will be the main draw for you. Each themed casino/resort has its own distinctive character, and are world-famous for their brand. From the faux canals of the Venetian to the classic Greek style of Caesars Palace, you can spend a whole day just walking around the hotels. They're basically small cities--or as we kept saying, cruise ships times three. At the Bellagio where we stayed (highly recommended), there were 11 restaurants, a nightclub, a botanical garden, a conference center, a wedding chapel, an arcade, a mall-sized shopping boutique gallery, and a full-sized theatre, currently featuring Cirque du Soleil's O. Not to mention the 9-acre fountain out front. It took something like 15 minutes of walking just to get from the street to our room on the 26th floor. It's THAT big.

On the subject of shows, we went to see O, a fantastic water-themed performance featuring a lot of synchronized swimming, acrobatics, aerial manipulation and diving. In my opinion, it wasn't as good as Varekai in terms of story and variety, but what made this show special was the sheer scale of the thing. The depth of the pool onstage can be rapidly changed so that it alternates between Olympic-deep diveable to a perfectly dry, flat stage. Truly a feat of engineering. Too bad the clowns were so damned boring and annoying.

Of course, if one of the five mind-bending Cirque shows going on in Vegas isn't your cup of tea, Cher, Bette Midler and Wayne Newton are all currently mainstays on the strip. Wayne's probably the only one I'd want to see simply because, you know, he's like Grandpa--you should probably go to see him before he kicks the bucket so you don't regret it later.

Shopping wasn't that great for me in Vegas. Of course, I'm cheap, so you shouldn't listen to my opinion. But hey, if you can afford all the big boutique and designer brand names, then by all means, open your wallet and splurge. We got a $11 shuttle out to an outlet mall about 40 minutes away from the strip, but didn't end up buying much. Let's face it, 80% off a $15,000 Chanel dress still isn't a great deal.

Foodwise, most of the restaurants we went to were in the resorts, and the prices can be pretty up there. We had dinner at Michael Mina one night--the tasting menu was $115 US. The picture on the left is of the first course--a single scallop in some sauce. The food was very tasty, but I'm a girl of simply tastes and a fairly shallow wallet, and food has been my arch nemesis for as long as stomach troubles have been my mortal enemy and poo my quirky on-again off-again lover/hater. So while I enjoyed the experience and don't regret it, I'd have been just as happy eating from the $1 menu at the McDonald's down the Strip. Those with big appetites will prefer to eat at the buffets, which cost about $25 or so. I think there were slightly cheaper ones outside of the hotels, but who knows what the food quality was like.

Would I go back? Perhaps, if I had more money and more time to simply lounge by the poolside at the Bellagio. But if I really wanted to relax and do nothing, Vegas would not be the place to go.