Missing the point - I ams whos I ams

So as I've been corresponding with a woman about a job as an editor for her website, she asked me about why I refer to myself as "Miss" at the end of each email. I replied that I'd always been taught that this was the formal way of referring to myself in professional correspondences.

Sure, it might be a little outdated, but I stick to it because there have been enough times when someone will write me a letter signed "Chris" or "Pat" or "Vidya" and I'll have no idea if it's a girl or a boy I'm talking to. "Vicki" is pretty standard as a girl's name, but you never know.

In any case, this is the response I got:

Just so you know, no one here in Canada uses Miss, Ms, Mrs. Or Mr. unless
they are like in their 60's+ & they are extremely old fashioned or one is
filling out an formal application.

In fact I find it degrading for someone to use that in this day & age b/c it
makes me feel they think they are better than me.

All I could think to myself is "WTF?!"

SHE finds it offensive that I refer to myself as "Miss"? How insecure do you have to be to concern yourself with the way someone else refers to themselves and how it relates to you? I don't even know her last name, but do I find it offensive that she, as a potential employer, won't let me know who she is? Not particularly, since I don't intend to work for her anyhow.

I know you could make the feminist argument that any form of address could be degrading and that it would slot you in as being Miss (single and up-for-grabs), Ms. (divorced, feminist, or otherwise), Mrs. (married hoursewife), or Dr. (professional spinster), but it wasn't like I was calling her "Ms. No-Last-Name" and therefore saying "This is what I perceive you as, you are in this category of woman ergo not worthy of being addressed by only your first name."

I've encountered this Miss/Ma'am issue before working retail: co-workers of mine have referred to customers as "Sir" or "Ma'am" which would sometimes elicit a screaming of bloody murder, more from women at the address than from men.

Okay, so "Ma'am" might have some other connotations that are obscurely historical and might be construed as offensive such as "Madam", as in the head of a brothel. Worse are those people who scream at the use of "Miss" - perhaps they'd prefer to be called "Ma'am"? Well what did you want me to call you, lady-who-is-obviously-too-old-to-be-wearing-that-matching-jumpsuit-with-the-word-
Princess-embossed-on-your-middle-aged-ass-but-I'll-be-polite-about-it-anyways?

I might add that calling someone Ms., which is just too darn feminist for my own personal use, really sounds weird. "Hey Mizz! You forgot your bag!"

Sure, in the case of customer service, you have to be careful. But what the hell else are you supposed to call someone? There are times when you just have to address someone directly, and don't tell me you can avoid it, because there are times when you really, really can't. "Hey lady!" or "You there!" just aren't right. How about, "Non-denominational-unclassified-person-of-the-gender-you-are! I found the book you were looking for."

All that aside, the email from this woman (I suppose she's a woman, since she only referred to herself by her first name, which I won't mention here) went on in the email. This is my favourite part of the message:

Unless someone is a Mistress in the BDSM lifestyle, they just don't use
it & at first that's what I thought you were.

You can do whatever you want, I'm just letting you know how you might
be perceived by others.

Read my resume, slave! And call me MISS!

Yes, I suppose if your brain works that way and that's what you're into, sure, calling myself Miss might identify me as a leather-clad master of the bedroom (and John will only attest to the second half of that identifier, I'm sure.)

But the question remains: if I'm applying for a job, referring to myself as Miss in my CV, and they don't pick me because they think I'm some kind of S&M wielder of a hot pink cat-o-nine-tails, do I REALLY want to work for them?

Oh and just so we're clear: professional correspondences don't use the word "like" in the middle of a sentence... unless you're, like, a teenager.*

*John's joke.