"Boy, I wish I was a turtle..."

John and I indulged in a bit of nostalgia by catching matinee of the new TMNT flick, a fun little romp that, while I felt had so much potential as a more adult movie, really did hearken back to the easier, innocent days of cartooning, with bad one-liners, epileptic action, and silly plots.

The real entertainment value in the show, though, was the audience of mostly 6 to 12-year-olds and their mothers, many of whom were singing to old 90's version of the cartoon theme song. To which their children would blink owlishly and go, "Huh?"

At one point, the mother behind me admonished her fairly young son:

"Pedro, don't put the plastic bag over your head. It's not a good idea."

While I was silently holding in a bout of raucous laughter, I had to wonder what my niece would manage to do in the same situation. Once upon a time, my sisters and I would cut the bottom corners off shopping bags and wear them like swimming suits. I always assume this was a girl thing to do with shopping bags.

Apparently, trying to suffocate yourself is a boy thing.

Now that I've changed my first diaper (with minimal assistance from Bowie's mom) and have had to touch another girl's hoo-ha (so THAT'S what the Vaseline is for!) I am beginning to speculate what life holds for my young niece. Will she be like her cartoon-loving, action-figure-collecting parents? Will she sing cartoon theme songs at the top of her lungs after leaving exciting but substanceless movies?

Will she, too, walk out of the theatre avidly declaring her wish to be a Turtle?

I'll say it again: Bowie is DOOOOOOOOOOMMMED.