Maybe I'm getting lazier in my later years, but it seems to me that North America is completely obsessed with work. In North America, work = money = not burdening the welfare system. Conversely, NOT working = laziness = immorality. Therefore, if you are not working, regardless of the reason, you must be a terrible person.
Along the same gripe lines as my previous post on illness (and I'm feeling much better after that one day flu, thanks for your concern), people at work continue to come in even when they're hacking up a storm, or are feverish and have chills. These last two symptoms together are what I use to elicit a "You. Go home. Now." Even when it gets me a cold and stuffed-up mutter of, "I'm fine." Because inevitably, chills and fever at work can lead to vomitting, fainting, violent shaking, etc. And really, if any of that happens on your drive home, how many people will you take to the hospital/grave with you? Also, please do us all a favour and stop spreading your sneeze mist of illness around the office.
As for my opener on me being lazy, let me elaborate. (Warning: long rant ahead.)
I've been digesting a lot lately on my personal state of careerdom. I hate the idea of playing corporate politics and having to adjust my behaviour and personality to fit the business mindset. I can be cordial. I can be professional. I can be ruthlessly efficient. All the while, I like to insert my own personal humour (however black, bitter, cynical, or true it may seem) into every work day. I call it fun. That's me. That's how I survived high school.
But corporate workplaces don't let you be anything. You have two choices: do your work and shut up, or fight tooth and nail against the status quo. Both options sap the life out of you. You either sit and do your work and hate a lot of days while dreaming about winning the lottery; or, you work your ass off to convince those in authority that you are right, that you know what you're talking about, and subsequently work even harder to prove it and stay in the big leagues.
It's the second one I can't understand. Sure, there are people out there who are lucky enough to love what they do and earn money doing it, but I just don't understand the game they play. Politics and mind games? Work harder for less? Sure, you might get that initial promotion, that incremental raise. You might even be getting paid what you're worth. Good for you, you're happy.
But consider the life of a salmon.
My family used to go out to this place somewhere just outside of the city where we could watch the salmon swimming upstream every fall. We called it "Salmon River." We'd go down to the river's edge via a little trail and pick our way around the dozens of rotting, stinking maggot-filled salmon corpses washed up along the gravel, just to get a closer look at one of Nature's cruel little jokes. I'd quietly cheer a particular cluster of those large green-grey fish on as they struggled against the swift current. I often - and still - wish I could pick a whole bunch up and carry them a little further up the river, where the water was deeper and calmer to hurry on their reproductive way.
And then I'd see a salmon give up, his tiny aquatic heart bursting with the strain of pumping his ineffective little fins against the current. I'd watch in fascinated horror as the twitching fish was swept away down the stream, to wash up on the shore with his dead breathren. And then another would go. And another. But inevitable another fish would take up the spot in the river the late fish had vacated, just like cars in traffic.
There were always more salmon to replace the dead. There are always stronger fish in the pool.
And even if the salmon mades it over the 5-foot-high waterfall further upstream, having avoided the hungry bears and sharp rocks below, they're EXHAUSTED nearly to death. And the likelihood of getting to the spawning grounds is still very, very low from that point on.
So I ask you: are we salmon? Are we trapped in workplaces where we are constantly fighting against a torrent of trials and challenges meant to weed out the weakest fish? Mother Nature plays this same game with all migrating animals: penguins, butterflies, wolves, moose (meese?), birds...
And then I read that some Canadian Geese are starting to stick around for the winter, foregoing the long flight south and back. Scientists are worried this is a signal that climate changes are affecting Nature's design. Others have simply criticized: "Aw, they're just lazy." Which is equivalent to, "Aw, they're just immoral, and will be slaughtered for defying Nature."
Maybe I'm crazy, but I think I'm a Goose. I'll let Nature rage around me, hunker down when I have to, and if I can help it, I ain't flying south. And people around me will judge me to be lazy. Which is to say, I am an immoral person for not working to death.
See? SEE? See how North America passes judgement on the Goose?! Even if it has found a way to survive Nature and her ever-changing moods!
But you know what's crazy about geese? If one goose gets sick or tired and needs to rest, at least one other goose will follow it down and protect it while it's resting. Usually two. When the sick goose is strong again, the group will take off again and rejoin the flock, or join another formation.
Perhaps I am a sick Goose and do not know it... or perhaps I have been watching the Nature of Things too often...
5 comments:
I get pretty sick of being poor and viewed as a lazy artist. But the opportunity to act like I could be fired at any minute from my part-time job can't be beat. No office politics. No bullshit. I even lose my temper on customers if they ask for it.
Have the courage to believe that life is too short not to be happy.
I've had people tell me that laziness is actually encouraged in the workplace. If you look at those in management positions at work, you will note that they do less work than we do. They have mastered the art of getting other people to do stuff for them, or slack off without being noticed.
It's the old cliche of working smarter and not harder. From observation and experience, working hard only leads to more hard work. As my friend once put it: "If you're lazy, you'll find more efficient ways of doing things, or find out the things you can get away with not doing at all."
Hey Flocons, was that friend me? I know I coined "If you're lazy, you'll find more efficient ways of doing things" but I didn't mention the other term.
I tend to be as efficient as possible when doing work but I still get work done. I also call in pre-emptive sick days just to make sure people around me don't get sick on the "chance" that I might get sick. :)
I believe the phrase goes something like this: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy man; he will find a more efficient way to do it.
Nice blog by the way, Vic. Your wit and cynicalism are very well maintained in text form. Nothing of course will beat hearing your rantings in person.
Bump.
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