Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Best. Boyfriend. Ever.

One day, John writes an email to me with the subject line:
I needed to cheer myself up, so I bought you something.

Guess what came in the mail on Monday?

Have I mentioned how much I love Ava-...I mean, John? 8 )
Now I can watch the first season in all its pristine, colour-enhanced glory...

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Vicki's Anatomy and banana bread/cake

Somedays, I have an internal dialogue session with my mental shrink. His name is Dr. Katz and he's this quiet bald man with horn-rimmed spectacles who sits in a big armchair with a steno pad he doodles on. Sometimes he cross-dresses to make me feel better if I have to talk about womanly things.

Back the truck up. Yes, I have an internal, imaginary psychologist. Why not a real one? Because Dr. Katz is biased and guaranteed to really understand what I'm talking about. Plus, it's cheaper than real therapy. Mind you, I'm not the only one who has internal dialogues, I guarantee you that; I know plenty of writers (fanficers) who write comments and reviews to me in dialogue format, and I've caught plenty of people talking to themselves...but I digress.

Today, my boyfriend made me banana cake/bread. I was trying to puzzle out why: what his ulterior motive was, why he insisted on baking this wonderfully orgasmic cake from scratch. I asked Dr. Katz while I was in the shower, feeling the cake/break roll around my happy belly, and instead of nodding and hmming like he normally does, he turned on my internal TV and suggested I ask the cast of Grey's Anatomy.

See, since I bought John the first and second seasons of this awesome show, I've gotten hooked, watching two or three episodes a night to catch up to the newest season. Smart, funny writing and deep, flawed characters that have great chemistry have made the Seattle Grace Hospital my new haven of happiness/angsty anguish.

So, as they were making the rounds in my cerebellum, I tagged along and pestered them about this cake in Meredith's (the show's flake and main character) flighty fashion. And they answered back:

Christina: He made you cake?
Izzy: That's so sweet. What kind?
Me: Banana.
Izzy: You mean banana bread?
Me: ...No, it was definitely cake-like.
Christina: He. Made you cake.
George: Who's got cake now?
Alex: Can I have some?
Izzy: John made Vicki banana bread.
Me: Banana cake.
Alex: What did he do?
Me: Do?
Alex: Guys don't do nice things like that unless they've done something wrong. You know, shrunk your favourite sweater, lost your car keys, snuck a peek at your diary, slept with your best friend...
Izzy: You speak from experience, obviously.
George: Not all guys who cook for their girlfriends have done something wrong, Alex.
Alex: (snarl) Because playing Iron Chef O'Malley has really worked for you.
Christina: He probably wants something. Like sex.
Me: What?
Christina: He's going to drop a bomb on you. Just watch, he'll offer you a slice of cake...
Izzy: ...Bread...
Christina: ...and pull out the whips and chains and a car battery with alligator clips.
Alex: Naaassssty.
George: Ow.
Me: He just made me cake.
Izzy: Bread.
Me: Dammit Izzy, it's cake! Here, try some.
Izzy: Ooh!
Christina: (grab)
Alex: Fork some over, porky.
George: Hey!
Izzy: (munching) Hmm... definitely moist and fluffy...
Me: He used a hand blender.
Christina: ...but dense and...substantial. Massive even.
Alex: It's good.
George: Like my mom's banana cake.
Izzy: Bread.
Me: You can't make sandwiches out of it! It's not bread!
Bailey: What the hell are you fools doin' out here?
Christina: John made Vicki banana cake. Bread. Whatever.
George: We're trying to figure out why.
Bailey: ...Who the hell is this?
Me: Uh...I'm Vicki?
Bailey: You're not one of my interns.
Me: Um. No ma'am. I'm just an intruder in my own imaginings.
Bailey: ...Get out of my hospital.
Me: Yes, ma'am.
Bailey: And give me that cake! ...Damn bunch of idiots...

So I went away and still have no idea why I have this fabulous hunk of banana bread and an even more fabulous hunk of man to serve it to me slathered with butter. Dr. Katz is also at a silent loss. Any ideas out there, or are you all inching away from me with weird looks?

For the sake of posting...


Apparently, they read my blog regularly and since visiting them at ye olde Post, have been complaining I don't post enough. In fact, I've recently been getting a lot mail and stuff that asks me when I'm going to write the next installment of this, or finish a posting on that (all requests from fanfiction readers).

Guys...don't take this the wrong way, but I've got Shit. To. Do. You know, that thing called living? Doing laundry, making dinner, grocery shopping... and trust me, I do just enough of that to ensure I'm not living like a hobo. The rest of the time, I'm working on one piece of writing or another. Really. Seriously. I swear, I'll try to do my best to post more regularly, but since my life is so engrossed with writing and living (and catching up on episodes of Grey's Anatomy), it's kinda hard to have anything to say.

But for now, I suppose I'll have to leave you with a thought for the day:

If you get bad luck when a black cat crosses your path, what happens to the cat when you cross its path?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Oh joyous day!


And I swear. If Greedo shoots first, I am going to plant a crowbar in Lucas' necklessness.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Gee, what day is it again? CNN isn't being too clear...

Of course it was frightening and tragic and a day I will never forget...that no one who was around can ever forget. But because I am who I am, here are other things that happened on Sept. 11 throughout history (just a sample):

1609 Henry Hudson discovers Manhattan island
1773 Benjamin Franklin writes "There never was a good war or bad peace."
1789 Alexander Hamilton appointed Secretary of the Treasury ("It's all about the Hamiltons, baby.")
1814 Battle of Lake Champlain, NY; Americans defeat British
1853 1st electric telegraph in use, Merchant's Exchange to Pt Lobos
1875 1st newspaper cartoon strip
1910 1st commercially successful electric bus line opens (Hollywood)
1918 Boston Red Sox beat Chicago Cubs, 4 games to 2 in 15th World Series
1919 US marines invade Honduras
1922 British mandate of Palestine begins
1923 The ZR-1 (biggest active dirigible) flies over NY's tallest skyscraper, the Woolworth Tower
1926 Aloha Tower dedicated in Honolulu
1927 Babe Ruth hits 50th of 60 homers
1928 1st TV drama-WGY's The Queens Messenger
1936 FDR dedicates Boulder Dam, now known as Hoover Dam
1941 Charles Lindbergh, charges "the British, the Jewish & the Roosevelt administration" are trying to get the US into WW II
1941 FDR orders any Axis ship found in American waters be shot on sight
1946 1st mobile long-distance car-to-car telephone conversation
1950 1st typesetting machine to dispense with metal type exhibited
1950 Dick Tracy TV show sparks uproar concerning violence
1954 1st Miss America TV broadcast
1961 Bob Dylan's 1st NY performance
1965 Beatles' "Help!," album goes #1 & stays #1 for 9 weeks
1966 Johnny Miller became the 1st Yank to hit a HR on his 1st at bat
1967 US Surveyor 5 makes 1st chemical analysis of lunar material
1973 Chile's President, Salvador Allende, deposed in a military coup
1977 TV's Rhoda gets divorced
1985 Pete Rose of the Cin Reds gets career hit 4,192 off Eric Show of San Diego Padres, eclipsing Ty Cobb's record
1986 Dow Jones Industrial Avg suffered biggest 1-day decline ever, plummeting 86.61 points to 1,792.89. 237.57 million shares traded
1991 "La Toya: Growing Up in the Jackson Family" goes on sale
1991 14 die in a Continental Express commuter plane crash near Houston

Sunday, September 10, 2006

The gall!

So my little sister was admitted to the hospital this week with a gall stone. She is officially the first member of my immediate family who has had emergency surgery for something that really just popped up. (That I know of, anyhow.)

She's home and doing okay now, except for the holes in her stomach from the surgery. It's made me really appreciate my good to fair health status, for the most part, and has made me really think about how health problems can arise at any time.

Of course, the other thing about this hospital stay is that it means I'm doomed: Fiona and Jenny have both had short-term stays with severe problems. It's just a matter of time before I'm next.

And as I write this post, I realize it's been ages since I posted anything, and I swear stuff really does happen to me, I just don't bother to expound upon it. I promise, more posts soon.